MichelleTomko.com

Coffee Housing is a term used at the poker table to define a player who uses nonstop chatter as a tactic. She or he hopes to rattle everyone's concentration or just plain become the most unlikable player at the table. If successful, other players will make critical errors and donk off their entire stacks trying to "get" the villain and gain some peace and quiet for good. It's like a heckler/comic situation only with chips. It is one of the worst situations you can be in as a poker player.

Sometimes one of the worst situations you can be in as a comedian is a coffee house open mic. There you are without a gig, wanting to work out some new material, and then you see the flyer. You  think "hey, I like coffee. What can go wrong?" You sign up, buy some overpriced swill and wait for the host to work you in between the regulars who all don acoustic guitars, work boots and flannel shirts. Why does every guy who learns three chords feel the need to dress for the Zombie Apocalypse when he plays out? Is there something I don't know? It makes no sense. If something is about to go down, wouldn't you leave your $1500 Martin with the sweet new pick up at home?

But not tonight. High praise to the Ventnor Coffeehouse in Ventnor, New Jersey. They have an open mic every SATURDAY night. Yes. Can you believe it? Not that funky Tuesday where two people are splitting some humus in the back and the microphone is running through a guitar amp. (Well, actually they have that too. Jazz Jam Night is on Tuesday. I'm sure it is funky. Who doesn't love jazz?) Seriously an open mic night on a weekend is a win win. The talent's friends are off of work and can actually come and the venue doesn't need to pay those pesky booking fees. No lie. All the chairs were facing front and everybody listened! Aside from the occasional, electric heckle from the milk frother, it was a real audience!

Plus there was some great talent there tonight. A few young guns were awesome. I'm so jealous. A fourteen-year-old girl put on a mash up of comic patter and One Direction songs that is off-Broadway bound. I also heard a teen play some Tom Petty. I'm glad there are some cultured parents out there. I wish I had started earlier. I wasted my youth player Nettie Fowler in Carousel at St. Peter Chanel High when I could have been playing out. 

I got an email from a young comic who wanted some advice. If you are going to hear one thing. Here this. GET OUT THERE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. And don't bitch if you don't have dates. There is a cyber audience 24/7. Put something out there! Now! Got it? Good. You owe me a cup of coffee.
http://www.ventnorcoffee.com/